Feeling a bit fed up of not running and a bit of a fake too

21 Apr

I’ve been trying not to broadcast the fact that I haven’t been able to run lately due to a couple of minor (or major – depending on how you look at it) health issues. Initially when the doctor said no exercise that takes my HR up over 120 I ignored her and I carried on doing a bit of running here and there and also a lot of road riding with my friends. I’ve always been stubborn like that! I know… hard to believe 😉

But then i started thinking – I have been running for 10 nearly 11 years and this is just a short period of no running – perhaps I should listen to the doctor. So I stopped the running and continued with the riding. Then I started thinking about all the hospital bills we have been paying and how my stubbornnImageess and determination to still train could potentially push those fees out to the foreseeable future and I caved.

I found myself ashamed and feeling like a fake – I mean here I am writing a running blog but not able to run right now. I felt miserable and very sorry for myself and probably drove my close friends a bit nuts and it was only the other day that my training buddy in both riding and running said ‘why not write about it on your blog’ – the thought horrified me, but then I thought about it some more and I thought I would come clean and get it off my chest.

It’s so hard and frustrating when you have always been used to running. Sure I am no elite runner, but running is in my veins – it’s what i do and what I love – so to be told I can’t do it for a while has been agony and I have felt a whole range of emotions ranging from anger, stubborness, feelings of failure to a wide range of others – crazy eh!

So I will continue to write about running, my thoughts and experiences and I hope you will continue with me on the journey – if not I will see you on the other side when I eventually am able to run again – I can’t wait for that – but for the moment I am content with light riding, walking and weights (not too heavy – pushes my HR up!) and trying to eat sensibly.

Happy running !

6 Responses to “Feeling a bit fed up of not running and a bit of a fake too”

  1. Amy April 21, 2013 at 2:49 pm #

    Oh Zoe, I know your pain! At the moment I am struggling to get back into running after several months of painful and slow running progress because of undiagnosed exercise-induced asthma. You don’t really want to write about it, because it makes you feel like you are whining, but at the same time you want to tell people and explain to them why you aren’t posting amazing running reflections and workout results. The best thing to do, I think, is exactly what you have planned: keep moving in whatever ways you can and focus on supporting and nourishing your body through this time of healing.
    Feel better soon 🙂

    • Zoe April 21, 2013 at 6:22 pm #

      Thanks for the encouraging post Amy 🙂 sorry to hear you have been struggling – wow exercise induced asthma that’s no good. I hope you are ok and make a speedy recovery and it doesn’t hinder your running too much. Hope you feel better soon too and I look forward to reading more great blog posts on your blog 🙂

  2. Ceri K. April 22, 2013 at 12:28 am #

    Hi Zoe (incidentally my middle name!),
    I’m sorry to hear that you are unable to run. I completely understand the situation you’re in. At the end of last year and the start of this year I had to deal with a medically advised return to eating an omnivorous diet and crippling RSI that prevented me not only doing the aerial sports/arts that I love but even writing about any of it. A low blow.
    I’ve found that the interim prior to your return is best used reflecting on your high points, planning for an even better journey ahead and remaining positive any way you can. Even if it means finding something else that holds your attention the same way running does.
    You’ll be back, I believe in you x

    • Zoe April 22, 2013 at 9:22 am #

      Hi Ceri thanks so much for your post 🙂 It sounds like last year was awful for you – so sorry to hear that 😦 I completely agree with your suggestions – putting a positive spin on things and reflecting on the high points 🙂 Yes I hope to be back sooner rather than later – and hope that you are better soon too xoxo

  3. binrunning April 26, 2013 at 8:37 pm #

    My physio recently announced that if my muscle problems don’t improve any, after my upcoming half marathon I may need to consider taking a month off. Ha I laugh, non runners don’t understand!

    • Zoe April 27, 2013 at 7:08 pm #

      Hi sorry to hear that and I feel your pain! Hopefully your muscle problems will improve and you will ghetto run the marathon. It’s so frustrating when we can’t run but I guess if the worst happens and you can’t run it means you won’t do any further damage – bitter sweet I know!

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