TL;DR
A Tiny Buddha essay recounts the writer’s diagnosis with an autoimmune condition in 2022 and later relapses. The writer says noticing whether thoughts were focused on the past, present or future helped identify worry as separate from the illness, though it did not remove the condition or always ease distress.
A writer recounting a chronic illness diagnosis says asking, “Where is my attention right now?” helped identify when distress was coming from thoughts about the past or future, rather than from what was happening in the present. In an essay published by Tiny Buddha, the author describes the approach as a way to notice and sometimes settle worry—not a treatment for the underlying autoimmune condition.
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The author writes that deep, chronic stomach and back pain led to two months of hospital visits, tests and surgery. The pain returned after the operation. A biopsy of small purple spots that appeared on the author’s skin eventually helped doctors identify an autoimmune condition in 2022. The essay does not name the condition.
Before receiving the diagnosis, the author says they had begun to think of good health as something belonging to the past. Thoughts about why the illness had happened, whether it would worsen and how it might affect work and a young family added another layer of distress. The author describes sorting these thoughts by time—past, present or future—and by whether the feeling attached to them was liking, disliking or neutral.
The essay’s central observation is that the condition remained, while attention and worry shifted. The author says there were periods, including on difficult days, when focus moved elsewhere and worry receded. They stress that this did not mean the illness was imaginary or that medical care was unnecessary: appointments, medication and practical decisions still required attention.
Separating Symptoms From Health Worry
The account offers readers a personal coping practice for noticing when concern about a health condition has turned into repeated predictions or replaying past events. That distinction may help someone identify what is actionable—such as arranging care—versus what is a recurring thought about an uncertain future.
The author does not present the method as a cure, a clinical intervention or a substitute for treatment. They report that naming a thought could settle it, but that the underlying weight did not always lift. The essay also describes worry returning, including before an important work meeting. Its value is in explaining one person’s experience, not establishing that the approach works for everyone.
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From Diagnosis to a Daily Practice
The essay traces the practice to a search for steadier happiness after the author’s diagnosis. The writer says they read about the mind and stress, explored different traditions and listened to teachers, but found the material difficult to organize into a usable method. The question about attention became a brief way to check in during ordinary moments.
The author’s framework groups experience into nine positions: past, present or future, each combined with liking, disliking or neutrality. For example, longing for a previous healthy body is placed in the past and associated with liking; asking why the illness happened is placed in the past with dislike; and fearing that it will worsen is placed in the future with dislike. The author says present-moment, neutral observations—such as feeling feet on the floor—carried less weight for them.
““Where is my attention right now?””
— The author of the Tiny Buddha essay
Limits of One Person’s Account
The essay does not identify the autoimmune condition, provide medical records or describe the author’s current prognosis. It says the first relapse occurred in March 2023, followed by several more; during a relapse described as happening “this March,” the author was taking steroids. Because the publication date is not included in the supplied material, that reference cannot be tied to a specific year.
The account is personal and does not establish whether attention exercises reduce anxiety for other people with chronic illness. The author says the technique sometimes settled thoughts but did not consistently remove the distress beneath them. It is also unclear how the practice interacts with the author’s medical care beyond their statement that appointments and medication remain necessary.
The writer says they continue to practice noticing where attention has gone, especially when worry returns during a relapse or before a demanding event. They describe the difference between recognizing a worry within a minute and remaining caught in it for hours as meaningful to their day, while acknowledging that the concern can come back.
The essay does not announce a new study, treatment or medical milestone. The next step described is continued use of the question alongside ordinary care and practical decisions. Readers with persistent symptoms or health concerns should seek guidance from a qualified health professional rather than treating a personal reflection as medical advice.
Key Questions
What happened to the author?
The author describes chronic stomach and back pain, hospital visits, tests and surgery, followed by a 2022 diagnosis of an unnamed autoimmune condition. The essay says the pain returned and that the author later experienced relapses.
What question did the author use to notice worry?
The writer asked, “Where is my attention right now?” They used it to notice whether a thought was focused on the past, present or future and what feeling accompanied it.
Does the author say the practice cured the illness?
No. The author says the condition was real and that medical appointments and medication remained necessary. The practice was described as a way to notice or sometimes settle thoughts, not as treatment for the autoimmune condition.
Not consistently. The writer says worry sometimes returned and that the practice did not always lift the weight underneath it. They describe noticing thoughts sooner as helpful, while saying they are still practicing.
Source: tinybuddha.com
